-Jeff Luppino-Esposito

Let’s get the business out of the way first; Miguel had lots of pertinent information to add to my research. On a side note: Hilary Clinton increased her lead by squeezing past Obama in the Nevada caucus for the Democrats while Mitt Romney dominated among the Republicans. John McCain also showed some bipartisan energy by taking the open ballot in South Carolina. Now, back to what really matters; Will we ever be able to escape the evils of facebook, and can hi5 really save the day…..

Let’s pick things up right where we left off. Though it was frustrating at first, the lack of newsfeed on the main page to reveal any and everything that my ‘friends’ were doing was a huge benefit. Until now, since the advent of the newsfeed, I never realized how much less time I had spent jumping from page to page for hours on Facebook. Here, without the feed, I remembered how openly creepy I had to be to see what my 'friends' were up to of late. The newsfeed is the ultimate excuse that keeps us plugged in for at least an hour more on average.

Additionally, I found a counter that measured the number of viewers looking at your page, which at the time I felt was a positive step towards less creepiness because no one wants to be tracked for viewing that same cute guy/girl's page every day.

With hopes still high, I was also pleased at first to discover that there were fewer applications on hi5 than facebook of late. However, a little research shot down my spirits. Let’s just say that Google doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I know, I’m not surprised either. In response to world-renowned douche and owner of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, for denying its attempt at purchasing his site last year, Google has acted promptly to fund a massive software push for hi5 and other lesser-known networking sites. Thanks for upsetting the beast Mark, way to keep owning our lives even after we’ve left your multi-billion dollar attempt at making real friends.

This was only the beginning of what became a generally downward turn for my childhood dreams of hi5 saving us from Facebook and MySpace. In fact, many aspects of hi5 have proven possibly worse than our current situation. As I scanned the site and talked (slowly) to Miguel, I realized it was more of a dating network than anything else. I was prompted to enter my “body type” (slim, slender, average, fit, a few extra, pounds, large, or voluptuous) as well as other physical characteristics and the type of person I’d “like to meet”.

A very myspace-esque atmosphere became evident despite the facebook-like layout. I discovered the ability to alter the html of my page, realized that I didn’t need to give a school email to enter a college network, and slowly uncovered an essentially unorganized mess. Spam posts to “check out my webcamz” were on walls and cutesy nicknames like “das right grrrrrl” replaced real names. It was frightening.

Finally, I realized why that view-counter was really on my page. Up in the right hand corner of my profile laid a series of bars. These bars increased in size as I received more friends, more wall posts, more comments, and more “hi5’s” (a public ‘poke’). These features, like the hit-counter, are a pathetic display of desperate self-promotion. They encourage time wasted online, they want you to brag about how these people that you call your ‘friends’ are looking at you and wasting their time on your page when you could be spending time together. I felt betrayed.

Things only got worse; every time I logged in, the site tried unwaveringly to force me to add my friends from my gmail address book to their regime. I couldn’t take it any longer. After one long day, I had my fill of this pseudo-savior. I deactivated my account this morning at 4:00 AM, less than 24 hours after my journey had begun.

Still… there is hope.
While hi5 may not have lived up to my ridiculous expectations of perfection, it is still a success. Alongside this success are sites like Linkedin, Friendster, Plaxo, Ning, and Cyworld, all of which are pulling in 10’s of millions of people from around the world and bringing them together in their own unique way. Knowing that Facebook and Myspace are not the only options, knowing that there truly are other alternatives, is quite liberating in itself. So, suck on that Mark Zuckerberg you rich bastard, I can make friends through other websites… or by going outside.