- Jeff Luppino-Esposito


The digital clock in the upper right hand corner of my MacBook strikes 3 AM, and I know I’m in for the long hall at the infamous 24-hour library on grounds. One friend and fellow unsuspecting library-enjoyer storms past, angrily pointing towards her face and explaining how she caught pink eye after spending only one hour on the basement level. As the countless pages of size 9 print begin to blur into a jumble of letters, the hell that is finals week has descended on UVA and my eyelids. Suddenly three over-excited teenage girls, blond, come skipping through the sliding doors with soda-can shaped backpacks and obnoxious smiles. “WOULD YOU LIKE A FRESH RED BULL ENERGY DRINK TO KEEP STUDYING ALL NIGHT LONG!” My best attempt at good manners drives a bewildered, “huh??” out of my mouth and towards the real-life cheerleader. She hands me the slim can of Red Bull and skips away...

I had never had a Red Bull energy drink* before. Hard to believe, I know, but I could never bring myself to pay for the terribly overpriced speed in a can. I downed the free sample in a matter of seconds and for the next couple hours felt like a blond, promotional-backpack-wearing cheerleader too.

This marketing strategy, while extremely effective, plays on classic drug-dealing themes and is exactly what I can imagine everyone’s favorite cigarette companies doing to our parents in their times of stress around the same age.

Oh the day when Red Bull lobbyists get their due in “Thank you for drinking”.
There’s no doubt that the company has been a major success, giving way to a huge energy-drink boom that has arguably replaced the soda market.

Despite that truth, the people who brought you wings are now trying their hand at the carbonated game. Red Bull’s “Simply Cola” has slightly more caffeine than a Coke or Pepsi (as expected), but is looking to attribute its high cost to its 100% natural ingredients.

With natural flavors from plant extracts and pure caffeine from coffee beans, Red Bull Cola is hearkening back to the “good old days” of naturally-created soda pop (and drugs). The Cola page describes the product as having a “not too sweet cola taste” and no traces of phosphoric acid, preservatives, or artificial flavors. This portion of the website also seems to attempt a more refined side of the brand name, unlike its regular merciless extreme sports side.

When asked (of themselves), “why cola?”. The site adorably responds, “Well, why not?” and continues to shamelessly promote the natural (we get it) source of the drink. But, recent reports out of Beverage Digest show “Monster” Energy Drinks as gaining a 3% lead in the market. While Nielsen data still rank Red Bull as the top dog, this may just be a desperate attempt to regain prominence in a field they once dominated.

With the cola business on the decline (Coke down 3%, Pepsi down 4.8%), it's unclear if Red Bull will be able to carry the business by name recognition alone. Regardless, if they keep sending Red Bull-bearing cheerleaders around sleepy library-goers at 3AM, it may actually work.



*Red Bull, for our less informed readers, is the energy drink phenomenon that is still banned in some countries around the world for its taurine content. With the caffeine levels of about twice your average cola, the drink is also the key ingredient to the popular Jagerbomb, which is of course the key ingredient to the My New Haircut video.