, , , , , , , , , , , ,

And So It Is Right To Conclude...

Monday, July 7, 2008 Leave a Comment

- Jeff Luppino-Esposito

Are you a politically moderate white male between the ages of 18 and 35 who shows due respect to an older era of pop culture but no respect for women?? If you're reading this right now, and if our Cultural Conclusion Poll Results prove absolutely anything, your answer to that question should be an unequivocal cry of "Yes I am!" That's pretty much the best summary I could draw out of our well-structure and completely arbitrary poll questions from this first month of full operation. Why this conclusion?

Well, let's take a look at some of your choices. We begin by dispelling any possible proof of dissent from this interpretation. Our June 9th poll asking about your favorite 'Sex and the City' girl posted the highest voter turnout... but Charlotte (the best looking and weakest-minded girl) won by a landslide. Capitalism might have been chosen as the most sardonically 'American' value over Democracy... but it also beat out Imperialism. NSYNC may have taken the prize for the June 20th, "If you had to listen to one 90s pop artist the rest of your life" question, but when asked about your favorite 90s fads, both Boy Bands and Titanic got shat on by the ultimate little gentleman refuge-- Pokemon. As for the clear points of this conclusion-- You were all shocked that Angelina Jolie was once married to Billy Bob Thornton, The Beatles write the soundtrack to your lives (Dr. Dre received 0 votes), Seinfeld is your favorite sitcom, you agree that Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse, you love Jack Bauer, and you think that Hillary should, "Go back to the kitchen and make a sandwich". I rest my case.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To view this article in a separate window, click here-

0 comments »

Leave your response!