-Jeff Luppino-Esposito and Ali Starzyk

“It was important for me to know the truth, so I took the test"

- Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father, discussing the DNA test that he took this morning to find out whether or not he is the illegitimate father of Kristi Kaufman's 13 year old daughter, Ashley.

A pretty good time to use this quote:
When you are Miss Cleo, testing your abilities to speak to dead people, because you have always yearned to have a personal friendship with Herbert "The Truth" Hoover.

A terrible time to use this quote:
When, after a series of complex operations, you, Rosie O'Donnell, realize that you are the father of 6 inner-city children.

The winning time to use this quote:
When you decide that the time has come to confirm your long standing suspicion that you are a super genius, so you take an IQ test after hosting another incredibly successful episode of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and performing your famous post-show ritual that includes, but is not limited to, spanking every underaged audience member, and releasing your team of pet pigs into the crowd while singing, "I'm Regis Philbin, Bitch!" to the tune of J.Lo's "Waiting for Tonight."

Some late night tunes:
The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony.mp3
CSS - Alala.mp3
The Verve - Love is Noise.mp3
Oxford Collapse - Please Visit Your National Parks.mp3
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