Jeffrey Luppino-Esposito EDITOR

“The report did not speculate as to why Allen was wearing the cow suit."

- Cincinnati local news report describing Ohio resident Michelle Allen's epic evening in a cow suit in which she chased children, peed on a neighbor's porch, and caused 'traffic problems.'

A pretty good time to use this quote:
When you are a third-grade teacher reading a student's book report in which he wisely creates a political parable highlighting Virginia politicians in barnyard attire from the more recent George Allen in a cow suit, all the way back to Mr. Thomas Jefferson in a four-piece rhino suit (which TJ allegedly wore in his free time while not boffing his slaves).

A terrible time to use this quote:
When you are Richard Karn (aka Al) and you break from your regular gig on Family Feud to read the police report describing exactly how your ex-partner, Tim Allen, got revenge on you for all of your snide remarks throughout the entire 'Home Improvement' series by finally having sex with your wife... in a cow suit.

The winning time to use this quote:
When you are Woody Allen, talking in the third person, getting pissed at one of your interns for neglecting to include extensive details in her progress report as to why exactly you opted for the cow suit over your more traditional choice of the fake Hasidic Jew costume that you normally wear when you want to stick it to the man.

Get all the He Said She Said with the entire Quote of the Day collection from days gone by.
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