Ali Starzyk EDITOR


I'm so sick of the lack of creativity in today's film industry. It's driving me absolutely crazy, going to tons of movies but basically seeing the same thing each time. Seriously, we need help. Every generation of movie-makers before us have given something classic to the art of film that has enhanced cinema, whether it be making characters more palpable, interesting directions to take plot, whatever. What are we giving the future of this medium to work it? I'm disappointed because as far as I've been able to witness, it's not going to be much.

But besides that, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (damn, I guess I'll have to think of another title for my autobiography) was simply an "alright movie," strange really, with the cast it had at it's disposal. Simon Pegg, Kirsten Dunst, Megan Fox? Really it should have been better but it wasn't, having to rely instead on gimmicky humor, like "comedically" killing a dog and unnecessary male nudity to keep the audience's attention rapt. Lame.


I probably wouldn't have even wanted to see the movie had Simon Pegg, British comedian extraordinare, not been in it. If you haven't seen Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, or Run Fat Boy, Run, you are missing out. Unfortunately he lacked a lot of his wit and relatability in How to Lose Friends, falling pretty flat on screen. But we did get some classic Pegg moments. You see, Simon Pegg loves zombies. Talking about them, pretending to be them, being in a movie completely about them, he loves the undead. And even in this movie, one that has nothing to do with zombies, we get the mention of zombies. And that's perfectly fine, because Simon Pegg and zombies are two of my favorite things, therefore creating a winning combo.

To me, Megan Fox, the hottie of the flick, is a frightening person. I feel like if I ever woke up somewhere and she had mystically ended up there with me, I would scream and fear for my life. I really don't know why, hey, they say fear has no quantifiable basis, and I'm sure 75% of the male population of American disagrees with me, but she's scary. In How To Lose Friends she plays a dimwit actress with a love for animals. Doesn't it seem like this character appears in almost every single movie/TV that is created today? How boring. I feel like if given something with substance Fox would be able to shine, but, given her hotness, she may forever be condemned to being the sexy halfwit or other such roles. Whatever, I actually don't care, she's scary.

I feel badly for Kirsten Dunst. For some reason, I've always liked her, but I feel like the last movie she's done that hasn't been some kind of awful was Eternal Sunshine. Sure, she's been Mary Jane Watson in the various Spiderman movies (a move I don't think the casting director should be too proud of) but besides that, the rest of her career has been an unfortunate mess of crappy rom-coms. Wimbledon? Elizabethtown? (Who even saw that?) I miss the days of The Virgin Suicides and Interview with a Vampire. Even Bring It On for heaven's sake. "That's alright that's okay, you're gunna pump our gas some day!" Classic.

I don't know, I'm bored and How to Lose Friends and Alienate People didn't do anything to alleviate that. It was a male version of The Devil Wears Prada pretty much, except without Meryl Streep or Anne Hathaway. I wouldn't even recommend going to see it if you have absolutely nothing else to do because well, it's just not worth it. If Purgatory had a movie theater, for sure How to Lose Friends would get top billing every night.