Arian Murati STAFF WRITER

Now, I'm normally a rather laid back, quiet guy. I keep to myself, and I don't really go out of my way to make a statement, though sometimes, I say things that are completely out of line without knowing it. I'm sure we all have, but not everyone makes cheeky top ten lists about them. Who does that? This guy! Here are some classic gaffes that have landed me in some hot water over the years, or at least gotten me some street cred. I'm hoping it's more about street cred than people getting upset about what a horrible person I am without knowing it.

10. "There should really be a law in which one must take an I.Q. test before they decide to have a child. "

- I said this to my mother at the doctor's office after watching one of those awful medical shows in the waiting room. There just happened to be a pregnant woman within earshot of this.

09. "Oh yeah, I remember Dream Street. They fucking SUCKED!"

- I said this about a week ago to a drummer I met at a friend's dorm. Normally this wouldn't be offensive, but in this case it was, because his guitarist was a member of Dream Street.

08. "This class makes me want to kill myself."

-I said this in my sophmore English class, a day after a girl attempted suicide and it was the talk of the school. I was absent the day before, and was not aware of this. I was then given a tirade by my teacher and spent the rest of the day avoiding anyone from that class.

07. "It's a known fact that Republicans have smaller brains, and cannot process human emotions or problems. That's science, asshole."

- I said this to someone in the Compassionate Conservatives club, thinking he would understand the humor. Turns out, he didn't think I was very funny, and asked my professor to write me up for hateful speech. Luckily, my professor is a Democrat and laughed at him.

06. "GOOOOOO!"

- A classic Arian Murati line. When used at the right time, it's comedy gold. When a sub whom your jerkoff friends told you was hot walks into a room and looks like a Wookie and you say this, you get written up. She was apparently sensitive about her moustache.

05. "Hey, nice shirt, does it come in heterosexual?"

-I said this in London after meeting someone though a mutual friend. He turned out to be gay, and I had no time to say that I'm actually not a bigot, because I was leaving for the airport in twenty minutes.

04. "She seemed nice, so I asked for her number, and she refused to give it to me. What a bitch."

-Again, not so harmful if it weren't for the fact that I unknowingly was talking to her sister. They looked nothing alike.

03. "Well to be completely honest, I didn't buy the book. I just came for a picture and an autograph."

-I said this to Criss Angel's assistant at a book signing he did in Ridgewood, NJ. The magic man was sitting a few feet away, and clearly heard me.

02. "There's no way that's true. I know for a fact that he's only smoked pot once."

-I said this to a friend's mother, who I thought knew about her son's illicit activity. I haven't been allowed at their household since.

01. "She is obviously addicted to energy drinks, and her father hosts Fox and Friends. She is clearly unfit to lead this class. I, on the other hand, am not addicted to anything aside from being awesome and incredibly good looking."

- I said this while running for class president in my junior year of high school. The girl I was running against was the daughter of Steve Doocy, and was the incumbent class president. How did my outrageous statement work out? I won the election in a landslide, and continued my reign until I graduated.