Jeffrey Luppino-Esposito EDITOR

Woke up yesterday morning, pretty sure I have pink eye, haven't slept since then, currently in a lecture hall right now writing this and spreading my disease wildly.

5. Waking up with that stuff on your eye. You have a moment of thinking you're blind/envisioning how you'll become the next Stevie Wonder if this is in fact the case. Also, it's always fun to look at things that manage to form on your body against your will/knowledge.

4. Everyone might have pulled an all-nighter working on a paper, but you, without a doubt, look the absolute worst, thus making your TA have the most pity on your essay.

3. Half the class thinks you smoked up before 'Ancient Greece', which may make you look like a badass.

2. The professor is too scared to make eye contact with you so she can't call on you to see if you even went so far as to sparknote the readings.

1. I feel like, somehow, it is one step closer to leprosy, a disease that we desperately need back, for obvious reasons.

Stevie Wonder - Superstition.mp3

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