Arian Murati STAFF WRITER

Ah, Christmas. I just love it. The presents, the cookies, the family dinners… they're all great to watch on TV in the Murati household. No decorations, no lights, no secret Santa. My friends don't get me gifts, and in return, I get them nothing as well. Christmas to me is a like a boring Sunday before an exam, and all of your friends are stuck studying when you want to party. Over the past few years, I've taken the free time and done some interesting things, but this year, I'll probably sit at home, play Mario Kart, and listen to Animal Collective until they make sense. In past years, I've gone to the movies and enjoyed the comforts of the cinema with hundreds of my closest chosen people.

Last year was much more fun, as I walked the streets of New York City on a quest for fun. One would think that 5th Avenue would be a bit less hectic on Christmas, but one would be wrong. All the shops are closed, and the merchants from Canal Street make their way over and peddle their goods to passerby. I purchased an interesting hat with earflaps, as some of you may have seen in last weeks' video. I love that hat. I think the fact that the man who sold it to me was clearly homeless and insane makes up for the fifteen- dollar price tag.

When I was a child, my parents, er, Santa, would give us gifts on Christmas day, just like all the other kids. The other kids went to something called church the night before, to talk about a man named Jesus. To me, Jesus was a man who made delicious empanadas at the Mexican food shop down the street. When I was thirteen, everything kind of changed when both my mother and I talked about our complete lack of religion and decided that Christmas was for chumps.

I still get gifts around this time, mostly as a celebration of commercialism and the free markets, and the joy is about as close as our family gets to it, but I just wanted to write this to my fellow non-celebrators: You're not alone. If you want to get hammered and play Nintendo, just let me know. I'll be here all day.

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