Jeffrey Luppino-Esposito EDITORS

What should we do to solve the economic crisis?
a. The Keanu Reeves Free Market Plan - Get Paid To Do Nothing - 38.6%
b. R.Kellynomics - The trickledown system... - 11.4%
c. Have all of America sign up for Geico so they save 15% or more on car insurance. - 20.5%
d. The Bob Barker Stimulus Package: Viagra - 29.5%

You crazy crazy bastards. This can never work. Did you see Keanu in 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'?! Because I sure as hell didn't. That movie looked like total shit. Back on topic though -- Keanu Reeves was a badass in the Matrix. In other news, I can't believe only 11 percent of you appreciated the pee joke with R. Kelly, that's disappointing. Or maybe you just really don't like the trickledown system, but I doubt that you actually took our poll that seriously. I am, however, very glad that 20 percent of you know how effin incredible of a deal you can get by switching to Geico. Seriously, the day it came to New Jersey was a bitchin' good time for the Luppino-Esposito household. We had a huge party, invited every fool we knew who didn't have Geico, threw money at them in the form of gold coins. Take that Allstate! Wait, hold on... did I just talk this entire time without pointing out the fact that we have indirectly referenced Bob Barker's penis in this poll?? God you people make me sick.


New Poll: CHRISTMAS PARTY!!
When your friend arrives late to your Christmas party, you will celebrate your cultural knowledge by referring to him as:

a. Britney Spears' Period
b. Ryan Seacrest's Puberty
c. A Woman
d. Wendy's Hours of Operation

Go VOTE NOW in the right side bar!

Think you understand the way the world works? Me Neither. Find out now by studying our extensive analysis with each wildly successful poll question
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