Not That I Care, But…
Arian Murati STAFF WRITER
Joel Madden is dating Paris Hilton. Good Charlotte's breakthrough hit was a song called "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous", and the chorus is as follows:Lifestlyes of the rich and the famous
theyre always complainin'
always complainin '
if money is such a problem
well they got mansions
think we should rob them
Bono regularly makes visits to developing African nations to help starving children wearing sunglasses that, if sold, could buy enough food and seeds to assist an entire village.
The breakdown of an average CD sale:
40% goes to the record label
30% goes to the retailed
20% goes to the engineers and producers.
10% goes to the artist
And that's if the artist has a good deal. Generally, from every iTunes song sold, the artist will make a penny or so. Still, the RIAA feels the need to sue anyone who downloads music illegally because they are stealing. Right.
Kanye West claims to be the voice of this generation. The last two people who were the voices of their respective generations died young and full of holes.
Axl Rose made no promotional appearances, didn't schedule a coinciding tour, and refused to participate in any publicity stunts for the release of Chinese Democracy, and it's a good thing he didn't, because no one would have cared anyway.
Most songs on the top 40 chart are written by fat, balding men in their 40s being sung vicariously through women in their early twenties.
Start a two person noise band. Walk into a pawn shop and purchase the worst guitar you find. Make releases solely on vinyl. Your music videos should contain nothing but time lapses of rotting fruit. One of you should have a mustache. You'll conquer New York and LA within months, and within two years, you'll be on the cover of some British music magazine (most likely NME) billed as the next big thing.
There are little to no differences between the glam metal bands of the 1980s and the pop punk bands of today. Every Rose Has its Thorn = Hey There Deliliah and Fall Out Boy = Whitesnake.
The Beatles played at Shea Stadium in 1965 with no vocal monitors, let alone power amps. They couldn't hear a thing they were doing, and they still kicked ass. Most musicians nowadays wouldn't go onstage at a 100-person club if they couldn't hear everything through their in-ear monitors.
When American bands take the stage at European festivals, they are often greeted by a friendly gesture called "bottling". This entails bottles of water, beer, or piss being hurled toward the performers, and to be honest, they sometimes deserve it. If I were standing around in the rain at Reading Festival waiting for Muse to come on, and Panic at the Disco prance onto the stage, I'm going to throw something.
Half the people who listen to the Foo Fighters are unaware of the fact that not only is Taylor Hawkins the second best drummer in that band, but that Dave Grohl was the turning point and beatmaster for Nirvana.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Senses officially popped. No need to
time and time again, Arian reasserts his status as "The Bomb Diggity" and/or "The Shit."
god, this is all such fucking gold
Arian speaks, everyone listens. That's the way it has to be.
i can't comment on just one of these points, they are all spot-on dude!
the irony, THE IRONY!!!!
ugh, that stuff about album sales is so frustrating, what a scam!
deep without sounding fake, very impressive!
i really don't mean to be annoying, but joel madden is dating nicole richi, and benji madden is dating paris hilton. well, WAS dating her up til a few weeks ago (according to perez hilton)
hah, i'm an obsessive perez-checker.
haha same difference!
regardless of who's dating who and what perez says, it honestly doesn't matter, this article was hilarious and brilliant. excellent job once again!
wow. spot on "the beatles" fact. love the post. thanks for this!