The phrase "hot tranny mess" has been thrown around a lot this past year. But perhaps never has it been so aptly employed until now in describing the following music video, courtesy of American Idol's season seven semi-finalist Danny Noriega and some creepy 168 year-old MySpace rapper.

It's hard out there for an American Idol contestant (let alone for Ms. Creepy McCan't - Dance - But - I'll - Try - Anyway, but we'll let her fend for herself). With the news that at least three of this season's finalists have recently been signed to major labels, it's easy for the public to assume instant fame and success after the immensely popular show. However, even full-fledged finalists throughout the history of the show have had considerable, well-publicized difficulties including getting dropped from their labels, not ever getting signed to a label in the first place, having to use indie Australian labels, and the ever-popular Celebrity Rehab (thanks Jessica Sierra).

So being just a semi-finalist is probably even more of a handicap. And at the risk of hurting this little kid's feelings, it just needs to be said: this video really is a hot tranny mess. And considering his affinity for in-your-face confrontational behavior and oddly-shaped hairstyles in the vein of Christian Siriano, we'll figure he can take the criticism.

In the future, here are just a few things (from a laundry list of much longer, more worrisome ones) to consider when putting together a song and/or music video:

1.) Texting can be hard and that's when we allow acronyms. Leave your LMAOing and FYIing to the Blackberry. Otherwise, it'll all just TMTH.

2.) FYI, Danny: It's silly to say FYI and then to say what those letter stand for one line later. It's like saying "ATM machine" or "I'm an unsuccessful American Idol semi-finalist"--they're just redundant.

3.) Britney Spears called and wants her beat back from "Gimme More," bitch. Oh, and the word "bitch" too, bitch.
Maybe Danny's just a beginner and needs to be cut a little slack, which I would normally be willing to give someone in the cutthroat music business. But then I just can't get over the fact that he repeatedly rhymed the phrase "American Idol" with "idol."

What's your favorite part of the video? And by "favorite part," I obviously mean "the thing that makes you just want to cry from the despair of it all."
--Gaar Adams

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