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Live Coverage of Tony Awards + Bret Michaels Decapitation + Winners

Sunday, June 7, 2009 Leave a Comment

You read right my friends, your musical theatre-loving editor Jeff will be live blogging the Tony Awards, just keep refreshing for goodies as it goes on. If you're reading this the next day, you'll be equally entertained, maybe even moreso. (ps, I'm watching it with my mother so it should be wild. Also, winners and Bret Michaels' near death are posted below all this madness if you just want the goods. But I doubt you do)

It just opened with Billy Elliot child plus Elton John, I can't stop touching myself. My Mom is confused.

8:03 - The opener has been strong with West Side Story and Guys and Dolls, and then Rock of Ages happened and I cried. My mother is non-responsive to my claim that it shouldn't be a musical. Oh boy Bret Michaels definitely just got injured, how glorious.

8:05 - The woman from 'Pal Joey' has incredibly oddly shaped breasts.

8:05 - Gabe from Next to Normal is amazing. My Mother keeps thinking that everyone is an actor she's seen before but she can't think of any of their names.

8:06 - The theatre snob in me is crying as Shrek the Musical performs.

8:07 - Dolly Parton. Speaking of breasts...

8:08 - Liza Minnelli - Listen to that voice. My mother notes how much she looks like Judy Garland. My mother then lowers the volume.

8:09 - HAIR! I feel my rebellious past coming to life. Being in a musical in the 60's was such a good time for all. Everyone is now on stage singing together. Except for Angela Lansbury who is in the audience because she may die at any moment, but I don't care cause she is beautiful.

8:12 - Speaking of beauty, Neil Patrick Harris. His suit is so shiny, is that leather?! Amazing.

8:13 - Woo Neil Patrick Harris just knocked on Brett Michaels' appearance. And then made a self-deprecative joke, what a man.

8:14 - Constantine Maroulis jokes, incredible. Constantine isn't down with it. Wait, oh no wait, he is! aww.

8:15 - James Gandolfini looks like he's about to kill a bitch.

8:15 - Jane Fonda. IT'S WAITING FOR Guh-DOH. are you kidding me?

8:16 - Steven Mangan needs to shave.

8:16 - Winner for Featured Actor in a play : Roger Robinson! Good, he looked the cutest/nicest.

8:17 - Roger Robinson's mother is 98 years old and watching this right now. And I thought it was tiring to type this shit out at age 19.

8:20 - I wonder how much an ad costs to run during the Tony Awards. My guess is very very little.

8:22 - I need to pee and I need to pick up Stelios from the train station, I'm not sure how this will work out. Also can't decide which order to do this in.

8:23 - I just farted, my mother didn't react, I'm enjoying live blogging too much.

8:24 - Shrek the Musical clips are surprisingly funny, BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY A MOVIE!

8:26 - Look how little Lord Farquot is. The costuming is tasty. This song is sort of boring.

8:28 - Hah, a wicked joke - one bad musical mocking another.

8:29 - Barack of Ages, Phantom of the Opera, Obama Mia -- God NPH I love you too much. And still your leather suit.

8:30 - Jeff Daniels and James Gondolfini -- Presenting Featured Actress in a Play, The first woman got significantly less applause than everybody else.

8:31 - Winner is.. ANGELA LANSBURY! mmm, love herrrr

8:31 - She is the second actress in history to win 5 Tony Awards. What a goddess.

8:32 - She is so sincere and warm. Be my grandmother Angela please

8:34 - NOOOOO MAMMA MIA NOOOOOOO DANCING QUEEN NOOOO. England I hate you for this.

8:35 - Decision was just made to go pick up Stelios, thanks a lot Mamma Mia.

8:49 - Here's what I missed apparently, thanks to my lovely girlfriend Sylvia via gchat. (this live blogging is brought to you by google)

Sylvia!: and we're back and neil wants smell-o-vision
and he has some sort of scratch and sniff thing and he just pretended to smell mary poppins
now they are doing an excerpt from 33 variations
mmm jane fonda
now will ferrel is being funny
Sent at 8:44 PM on Sunday
Sylvia!: next to normal won for best music and lyrics!!!
i am so excited
they just saluted everyone crazy enough to write an original musical
that's us!
Sent at 8:47 PM on Sunday
Sylvia!: now west side story is performing
Sent at 8:48 PM on Sunday
Sylvia!: they are just dancing
there is no singing
sort of weird
but very hot

8:50 - Still no singing.

8:52 - SINGING YAY! Tony and Mariah sound purty.

8:57 - Oh my god this guy is so epic. He directed both God of Carnage and The Norman Conquests, what a beast.

9:00 - Best Direction of a Musical - Billy Elliot, damn. I just want Next to Normal to slay that little boy.

9:02 - Constantine, WHYYYYY

9:03 - That fellow is getting all up in Liza Minnelli's business. This almost makes me be ok with the fact that this musical is a crime to theater. No wait, Don't Stop Believin... shut the hell up.

9:06 - My mother is defending Mamma Mia right now, I can't believe she birthed me.

9:12 - Best Special Theatrical Event - what the hell was slava's snow, that looks wild!! Ok, Liza won, that's fair. But still, Slava's Snow, wish I saw that.

9:13 - Why isn't Liza just speaking. Why does she look wasted?

9:14 - Liza is about to pass out, wait she just saved herself, what a show. Looks at her go.

9:15 - The music is playing, but wait she thanked her parents, how cute.

9:16 - Clips from God of Carnage, mm can't wait.

9:16 - Wait, that was so short. Sad.

9:17 - Microphone issues, what a save by that dude. Look at this adorable man in a striped suit. Damn and his voice is absurdly good.

9:27 - Sad they just flew through really important musicals. Well, at least I won't have to be insta-blogging this for too long. We'll post all the winners tomorrow.

9:29 - John Stamos, he is staying young.

9:30 - Best featured actor in a musical-- my guess is Hair guy.

9:30 - Damn, went to Gregory Jbara, Billy Elliot's Dad. God they love this musical.

9:33 - Karen Olivio just won as Anita. She is a babe. So much cleave on that dress. She cried... mm just the way i like it.


9:38 - Gabe should have been nominated for something, he's so fucking good.

9:44 - Neil Patrick Harris eating sushi? Am I missing an inside joke?


9:45 - WHAT?!?! Geoffrey Rush in 'exit the king' eww absurdism ewww

9:46 - French existential jokes... booo

9:47 - is there something wrong with this woman who is the daughter of the writer presenting her father's play. She looks insane.

9:58 - This guy is gold. He should have won everything.

10:00 - Actresses in a play, woot woot, here we go. Oh my god look at that woman's teeth!

10:01 - Marcia Gay Harden from God of Carnage! Wooo

10:01 - Can you tell I'm getting sick of doing this?

10:04 - Elton John baby, yes

10:08 - Billy Elliot, where's the singing. What the hellzors. The kid is a beastly dancer but i want some singing dammit.

10:09 - Squaking is the new singing of 09

10:13 - Wahh not enough of the people I wanted to win have won, I no longer really care.

10:16 - Legally blonde - well, she can sing. And she's cute. That's the purpose of theater right?

10:16 - Best revival of a play, here we go-- Norman Conquests. Woo, everyone in this cast got nominated, it had to win something.

10:18 - The woman standing behind this blond woman on her left is so menacing, I can't get over it.

10:18 - The actors are so not excited about having won.

10:19 - God of Carnage will always have the best name of a play ever.

10:19 - Best Play goes to God of Carnage! Listen to Harvey, that voice will never sit well in my stomach.

10:20 - Yasmina Reza, author of God of Carnage, comments on her accent, it is in fact adorable. I love the pause that these people leave in between their Thank You's as if we're gonna know who 'Matt and Chris' are. Oh look, she has a very old mother as well.

10:24 - Damn, I never went to the bathroom.

10:24 - There has been so little singing tonight, I really hope HAIR changes that. I think it will. Let the singshine baby. Oh god that's the worst joke I've ever made in my life.

10:25 - My mother hasn't contributed to this in at least two hours. I can't turn around to see if she's still alive. I'll let you know at the end.

10:28 - Look at Angela in Mame, LOOK AT HER!!

10:30 - Jerry Herman lifetime award, aww look at this cute old man. Angela looks like an Amazon woman next to him.

10:32 - Neil Patrick Harris making straight male jokes. Gotta love it.

10:33 - Anne Hathaway is in 12th Night? Ooh, yay HAIR.

10:34 - My mother is alive and she is singing along to HAIR!

10:37 - Ok wait I lied about the girl from Legally Blonde as being cute. Kristen Chenoweth however is darn cute. Except her breasts are also oddly shaped. What a night for this.

10:46 - FINALLY Neil made a gay joke-- David Hyde Pierce, coming out the second time this month.

10:46 - Sutton Foster = Sellout. The Next to Normal woman is going to win.

10:46 - Oh would you fuckin look at that, she won.

10:47 - Dammit she really only makes one face, and her makeup isn't very good. But her dress is nice. And she's crying. Oh don't cry, please don't cry. Oh now she's screaming. Why are you screaming?! Why are you yelling at people watching the Tony Awards that they should care about the arts. I think we know sweetie. Ok fine I'll stop being a whore, I'm sure she's good.

10:48 - Anyone else think that the Tony Award looks sort of unimpressive?

10:49 - AUDRA MCDONALD!! SHE'S SO GOOD! (also my beautiful girlfriend Sylvia is upset that I haven't mentioned her more in this. She loves Audra too. Woo.)

10:50 - Best Actor in a musical! Eww Constantine get out, why are you even here. Here we go Gavin Creel!

10:50 - Fuck those little shits from Billy Elliot won. Kidding. Sort of.

10:51 - Imagine being 12 years old and referring to Elton John just as 'Elton'. That middle boy will be coming out of the closet next week. Aw look how cute these little kids are, now I feel bad for crapping on their faces. Sort of.

10:53 - Jersey Boys. I'm not sure if this or Real Housewives of New Jersey is a better representation of the real Jersey lifestyle. This is so many high singing males at one time. Scratch that, my mother is singing again. Look at her go.

10:54 - Oh what a night is right. For me and my live blogging that is. Thanks for sticking around kids, it's been moderately fun.

10:59 - Liza Minnelli is back, here comes Best Musical! Billy Elliot is going to win...

11:00 - It's Billy Elliot!

11:00 - "YAY ELTON YAY YAY," Liza Minnelli. Now that's our classy little lady up there.

11:01 - My brother just walked in and said, 'Did they thank Anthony?' He's making a joke with the fact that Anthony is a longer name for Tony. It isn't a funny joke.

11:01 - Elton John just stepped up to the front and knocked out the other guy, that'a boy. He's so much cooler than everyone else here. He congratulated next to normal, with ease and grace.

11:02 - NPH singing! Woo, I knew it was worth sticking around. He made a dick sucking joke about the Golden Globes! More gay jokes, yes!


Best Play
God of Carnage Author: Yasmina Reza

Best Musical
Billy Elliot, The Musical

Best Book of a Musical
Billy Elliot, The Musical - Lee Hall

Best Original Score (Music and/or Lyrics) Written for the Theatre
Next to Normal Music: Tom Kitt
Lyrics: Brian Yorkey

Best Revival of a Play
The Norman Conquests

Best Revival of a Musical

Best Special Theatrical Event
Liza's at The Palace

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Play
Geoffrey Rush - Exit the King

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Play
Marcia Gay Harden - God of Carnage

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical
David Alvarez, Trent Kowalik, and Kiril Kulish - Billy Elliot, The Musical

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical
Alice Ripley - Next to Normal

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Play
Roger Robinson - Joe Turner's Come and Gone

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Play
Angela Lansbury - Blithe Spirit

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical
Gregory Jbara - Billy Elliot, The Musical

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical
Karen Olivo - West Side Story

Best Direction of a Play
Matthew Warchus - God of Carnage

Best Direction of a Musical
Stephen Daldry - Billy Elliot, The Musical

Best Choreography
Peter Darling - Billy Elliot, The Musical

Best Orchestrations
Martin Koch - Billy Elliot, The Musical
Michael Starobin and Tom Kitt - Next to Normal

Best Scenic Design of a Play
Derek McLane - 33 Variations

Best Scenic Design of a Musical
Ian MacNeil - Billy Elliot, The Musical

Best Costume Design of a Play
Anthony Ward - Mary Stuart

Best Costume Design of a Musical
Tim Hatley - Shrek The Musical

Best Lighting Design of a Play
Brian MacDevitt - Joe Turner's Come and Gone

Best Lighting Design of a Musical
Rick Fisher - Billy Elliot, The Musical

Best Sound Design of a Play
Gregory Clarke - Equus

Best Sound Design of a Musical
Paul Arditti - Billy Elliot, The Musical

Special Tony Award® for Lifetime Achievement in the Theatre
Jerry Herman

Regional Theatre Tony Award®
Signature Theatre, Arlington, Va.

Isabelle Stevenson Award
Phyllis Newman

Tony Honors for Excellence in the Theatre
Shirley Herz Winner

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  • Alexandra said:  

    this was fun jeff, thanks!

  • Brittany said:  

    dear jeff,
    i'm impressed :)
    yay tony's! and yay youu!!

  • Anonymous said:  

    Love Constantine's performance.

  • Jeff Luppino-Esposito said:  

    haha thanks for the love guys. Such a well-spent three hours of my life.

  • roiceedunn said:  

    Really enjoyed your take on these 3 lackluster hours. I guess I've gotten too old because the only times that I felt any real emotion was when HAIR was onstage (I saw the original in 1969)and the clips of HELLO DOLLY and LA CAGE AUX FOLLES during the Jerry Herman/Angela bit. The BILLY ELLIOT and WEST SIDE STORY performances did NOT make me want to shell out 100+ bucks. Say hello to your mother for me.

  • SSSemester said:  

    But it was exhausting, right?

    A friend encouraged/dared me to liveblog the Tonys at 8:10 last night, so I felt behind the whole time.

  • David said:  

    The sushi thing was a joke about Jeremy Piven eating sushi every day and then bailing out of his role with like only one or three day's notice because he had developed lead poisoning from all the fish.

    Fun post.


  • Jeff Luppino-Esposito said:  

    Thanks David! I remember that whole Jeremy Piven affair but had no idea that sushi was the supposed cause of it haha, ohh man, gotta love the age-old stage vs. screen feud.

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