Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Absolutely shocking new pictures have emerged on the Internet that have given America considerable pause as to whether we can officially crown Megan Fox as America's Hottest Thing, or whether--like a similar story this week (ahem, Miss California)--she'll have to relinquish that crown based on some pretty disturbing findings.

So, these findings. And pictures. Gruesome, horrifying pictures. Does Megan Fox have a large, inoperable goiter? Do parasitic arachnid-like creatures fall off her body like Cloverfield? Does she have a legitimate disease like eczema that, instead of helping to increase America's education and awareness of, we're just going to make fun of instead? (eww! her skin is different from my skin!)

Photos after the jump. (You might want to stare at that picture awhile longer before your image of her is ruined forever. I'll wait.)


Here it is. The disgusting, horrendous image you've all been waiting for: a thumb that, when zoomed in on 3000x, may or may not have a nail that is slightly shorter and stubbier than normal.
What a repulsive freak. Let's ostracize her. Or just cut out her thumb from all the pictures hanging in those shrines we have in the far corners of our basements. Everyone else has one of those, right?

So what's the verdict? Let her be? Or find a different sex symbol with better nails? Might I suggest if you go with the latter: loiter outside of a nail salon all day, approaching women with your arms outstretched, asking if you can inspect their nails. They'll just love that.

--Gaar Adams