Sweet. Baby. Jesus. Take a moment to imagine all the terrible things in this world. In your personal list, at least in the top five, is “Viva La Vida.” This is followed closely by “Chris Martin,” and then “Chris Martin’s Dance Moves.” Factually speaking, “Viva La Vida” is (probably) the leading song experts use to placate inmates, kill weeds, and de-poison horny toads. Now, slightly above this song on your “Shit that is Whack in the World” list are people who claim to have written “Viva La Vida” (don’t give me that face, I’m talking to you, Creaky Boards!). But number one on the list are remixed versions “Viva La Vida.” And what about one that incorporates The Killers, Bon Jovi, and Kelly Clarkson?

“It all began from an idea that I wanted to mash up Joe Satriani’s ‘If I Could Fly’ with Coldplay’s ‘Viva La Vida,’ says Norwegian Recycling about his seven song remix, “Viva La Viral.” Due to sound issues, he resorted to the following ingredients:

1. Coldplay - Viva La Vida
2. The Killers - When You Were Young
3. Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You
4. Bon Jovi - Livin’ On A Prayer
5. Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream
6. Muse - Starlight
7. Hellogoodbye - All Of Your Love

Rachael Ray just died. Oh you put in Kelly Clarkson too?? Wow! Now Miss Ray is rolling around in a grave of baguettes. The idea of creating such a musical frankenstein is frightening, but the hope that the song, as the title suggests, goes viral is just downright sadistic. Not to mention Norwegian Recycling spent eight hours importing and mixing these samples. That’s some Cruella De Vil shit right there. Actually, this criticism is too harsh — the three redeeming parts of this video deserve mention: seconds 1:42, 1:43, and 1:44. Enjoy.



-Stelios Phili

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