One reason to love a failing economy: Crocs are done. And by Crocs we don’t mean crocodiles, we mean those hideous shoes that everybody (George Bush, Jared Leto, Rosie O’Donnell, Brooke Shields, Morgan Freeman, need we go on?) and their mothers wore for entirely too long. According to the Washington Post, “the company lost $185.1 million, slashed roughly 2,000 jobs and scrambled to find money to pay down millions in debt.” While the company technically still exists, it only has until September to pay off its debts before it’s kaput. The only downside to this situation is that there is an excess of these monstrosities sitting around, not being bought and not being thrown into a giant bonfire.

Just because they’re going under doesn’t mean they’re down and out quite yet. Damon Vickers, a manager of an investment fund at Nine Points Capital Partners, Seattle, says that Crocs are “toast. They're zombie-ish. They're dead and they don't know it.” Hasn’t anybody told him that zombies have the tendency to become reanimated and terrorize the world? Stand guard, everyone—Crocs aren’t going down without a fight. -Melissa Schrettner

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