A Popsense special on the long, strange and stupid road of Jeremy Mayfield.

No one ever accused NASCAR drivers of having much tact. The sport itself is often called too simple. Its fans are lambasted for their blind dedication and overall lack of collective hygeine. However, this has been proven most successfully over the years with a simple glance at what the most successful racer in history seems to have glued to his head years ago.

What you don't know was that this photo was taken inside... in a press conference...at night. Seems like Richard Petty (the cowboy at right) was the inspiration for that rocking 80s ballad "I wear my sunglasses at night".

Granted, however, neither Petty, nor most of the 100 drivers who participate at the various levels of NASCAR, have ever had many problems with the law. While these drivers possess the fashion sense of a West Virginia mountain couple, they are merely simple people who were born to do two things: drive fast and turn left.

(This, coincidentally, explains the outrage over the next race on the Nextel Cup Circuit - Watkins Glen - in which drivers face a "road-style" course that is reminiscent to Formula-1 tracks and features *gasp* left AND right turns! Stay tuned this week for the action as the misaligned cars and impractically experienced drivers tackle life on the streets!)

But I digress. Most NASCAR drivers don't seem to get into as much trouble off the track as they do on it. They are, again, simple folk and their fans mainly comprise entire populations of Bible Belt states who value nothing more than the ability to time turns and vibrant (but never Gay... no... never in the South) paint and colors on the mostly American-brand race cars. (Oh the embarassment they faced when Toyota entered into and started dominating the NASCAR circuit.)

Then this past month, ESPN watching, cable TV having citizens around the world were introduced to Jeremy Mayfield who, until recently, I knew only as a middle-of-the-pack driver in NASCAR who occasionally got in helmet throwing contests with fellow drivers. On May 1st, Jeremy Mayfield tested positive for methamphetamines during a random drug screening in Richmond. He was immediately suspended by NASCAR for violating their drug policy. Mayfield countered, claiming the test was because he took at double-dose of allergy medication (you know that damned Virginia pollen) and that it reacted badly with his ADHD medication. This, in itself, is a crap explanation since anyone with ADHD would be hardpressed to sit in a car and turn left for four hours every Sunday.

In short, after blaming his Ritalin and Aderall and yelling at those who called him out, Mayfield got an injunction against NASCAR on July 7th and the courts lifted his suspension. His fellow drivers, however, made it clear they didn't want the old meth head back on the track, fearing that he could still be high and dangerous while racing.

On July 16th, NASCAR announced that Mayfield had again failed a random drug test and had tested positive for methamphetamines on July 6th, just one day before he was granted the injunction. That, dear readers, is some serious dedication to stupidity and/or addiction - neither of which help prove Mayfield's innocence.
This glorious, epic tale just kept getting better though as Mayfield's stepmother told NASCAR in a signed affidavit that she'd seen her stepson use meth as early as 1998 and had known him to manufacture his own. What with the economy going to hell, after all, everyone needs their own stash. Lisa Mayfield testified that she'd seen Jeremy use meth 30 times and at least once she'd seen this happen before a race, a fact which only further ignited the rage of his fellow drivers.

Early this morning, however, on the 17th of July, Mayfield issued his public rebuttal and went after everyone involved. He claimed he doesn't trust NASCAR's testing and insinuated that chairman Brian France (cursed with that name) was a hypocrite. His drug rage came down hardest on his stepmother, however: "She's basically a whore," Mayfield said before nonchalantly dropping another bombshell. "She shot and killed my dad". Mayfield's father's death two years ago was determined to be of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest, a death that resulted, Lisa Mayfield claimed, from prolonged depression about minimal contact with his son.

Jeremy continued by calling his stepmother a "gold digger" and accused NASCAR of paying her for her affidavit. "It wouldn't take much money. She tried to get money from me. I have a very short fuse when it comes to her." Obviously, though, this must be a different fuse than the one he uses to light his meth.

And finally, we take a look at the NASCAR standings which feature Jeremy Mayfield in 48th place and already mathematically eliminated from postseason competition. With these statistics in hand, Mayfield has abandoned competition this year and, instead, will focus on his legal battles. So, in addition to slugging out his meth battle in the court system, Jeremy Mayfield plans to file a wrongful death suit against his stepmother. At least we know that this circus can't last too long since we can only hope this mediocre driver runs out of money sometime soon.

- Cheers!

-Simon Svirnovskiy

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