PETA is crazy. We all know this. Whether or not you believe in what they stand for, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals goes about getting what they want in the most bizarre of ways, usually making bold and outrageous demands to gain attention in the process (remember that George Clooney-flavored tofu idea, anyone?). This time, in the wake of legendary Oscar Mayer’s death, they’ve done it again— and they’re bringing the beloved Wienermobile into the mix. Say it ain’t so!

After offering their “condolences and support during these difficult times,” PETA suggested that the Weinermobile be buried along with Mr. Mayer. PETA continued on to say that the hotdog-shaped Weinermobile “traverses the countryside and entices children to try Oscar Mayer meats, which can set them on the road to developing life-threatening illnesses.” They rationalize that getting rid of the car would still allow people to pay their respects to Oscar Mayer while saving children everywhere from developing meat-related illnesses such as diabetes and obesity. Because, in case you’ve forgotten, PETA is now for the children.

We think that the Weinermobile should be allowed to roam free. Using an intense mathematical formula, we’ve derived that hotdog + car = good times + many LOLs, and as such, burying the Weinermobile would be simply irresponsible. We need not only think of ourselves, World, but also of posterity. Would you deprive them of a Weinermobile? Think of the children! -Melissa Schrettner



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