We're all guilty of overdressing to events just to be seen. Concerts are no exception. Everyone has that friend that takes forever, and likewise, that friend who goes to every concert in the same ratty Soundgarden shirt from 1994. In our years of performing and attending shows, we've seen our fair share of concert fashion, and the major thing we've noticed is the differences between the ways men and women get ready for the show. Of course there are always those people who just don't give a shit, but they're no fun. This isn't meant to be sexist or anything, it's all in the name of Popsense. Here's how two "fictional" characters, Steve and Amanda get ready for the big show.

Waking up:

Steve: "Hm, after my morning dump, I should probably grab a Hot Pocket and find the tickets for tonight. I think I left them under the cushions."

Amanda: "Ok, I've just gotten out of bed, and it looks like I had sex with a grizzly bear last night. I'm going to spend the next three hours to make sure my hair stays this way for tonight."

Mid-Afternoon:

Steve: "Alright, I found my ticket. The show starts at 8, so I've got some time on my hands. This would be a perfect time to bust out the Nintendo 64 and call some friends just to show them how fucking phenomenal I am at Mario Kart."

Amanda: "Ok, hair is looking good, but still no outfit. I should probably bring an extra shirt, because last time, some drunk asshole hit on me by burping the ABC's and threw up on me when he got to Q"

Late Afternoon:

Steve: "I'm seriously pumped for this show. I'm definitely starting a mosh pit, and if some dickhead tries to stop me, I'm knockin' his block off, just like that one time at Lollapalooza during the Bright Eyes set when I started that mud fight. They said it couldn't be done, but I did it."

Amanda: " Oh man, what if it starts snowing? I know it's July, but I'll definitely keep the Ugg boots in the car just in case. Either way, I'll bring the biggest bag I own. You never know when you'll need a power drill."

Early Evening:

Steve: "I should start getting ready. Time to throw on some pants and my wicked Soundgarden shirt from 1994. My friends are always saying only tools wear band shirts to concerts, but they don't know shit. They won't be saying that when I'm getting digits all night. Do I have time to jerk it before leaving? What am I thinking, of course I do!"

Amanda: "I'm going to take a few camera phone pictures and send them around to my best friends just to get a good second opinion. Actually, no, I hate my friends today. I know I look good right now. I'll call my ugliest friend and have her come with me, so by comparison, I'll look even better."

Waiting on Line Outside:

Steve: "Man these chicks are lookin' good tonight. I probably should have washed this shirt. Nah, they won't care. It's all about my dance moves. Just wait until they see me do the worm."

Amanda: " I hope they play my favorite song, but I also hope they don't play my second favorite song. My ex-boyfriend loved that song, so now it sucks."

They Meet Inside:

Steve: "Hey there honey, check it out, I can burp their new single"

Amanda: "Oh, that's my second favorite song."

After the Show:

Steve: "I'm totally gonna text all my friends and tell them how many ladies I'm bringing back home tonight, when in all reality, I forgot to wear deodorant and everyone was repulsed."

Amanda: "Ew, that smelly guy in the Soundgarden shirt threw up on me! I spent hours trying to look as good as I did, and now look, I'm a mess. The drummer was really cute though; I'll go talk to him out back. What was his name, Arian or something?"


-Arian Murati


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