Showing newest 27 of 214 posts from June 2009. Show older posts
Showing newest 27 of 214 posts from June 2009. Show older posts
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Twitter Marriage; Karen Mulder Attacks Surgeon; Pirate Bay Pays: PopSense Morning News

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 0 comments

Illegal Bit Torrent Site, The Pirate Bay, attempts to become "legit" By Paying You $1 for Downloads [/Film]: Oh yeah? They want free downloads?! Well get this shit! LET'S PAY THEM INSTEAD! ...wait why not?... Well, define what you mean by 'sustainable'.

Former Model Karen Mulder Arrested For Attacking Plastic Surgeon [HP]: Me-ow!

Fired Gossip Columnist Sues News Corp. for $5 Million [EW]: His lawyer tried to explain that he could sue them for $5 billion but he kept insisting on 5 MILLION dollars instead.

Creator of 'Look At This Fucking Hipster' weighs in on hipsters [TMN]: In other meta news, look at these hipsters fucking.

Successful Marriage Proposal on Twitter Today Between @drew and @sarahcooley [Mashable]: Suck on that Facebook.

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What Percentage of Twitter Marriages End in Divorce? New Poll/Poll Results


Tuesday Poll Results:
With the release of the video for Jay-Z's Death of Autotune, what do you think will actually happen to autotune?





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72-Year-Old Former Boxer Beats Shit Out of Punk Burglar

In other news today, 72-year old former boxing champion Frank Corti pummeled the shit out of 24-year old drunken douchebag Gregory McCallium after he attempted to assault him with a knife and burglarize his home in Botley, England. [via DM]

Popsense had the opportunity to speak with one of McCallium’s roommates the night before the (attempted) assault took place. When asked about what he observed that night, McCallium’s roommate, who requested to remain nameless, gave the following account:

“He seemed really startled when I walked in on him, as if he wasn’t expecting anyone to see him. It looked like he was tearing apart the snack cabinet looking for something, but he stopped immediately when I came in and just stared at me. He wasn’t wearing any pants. I told him to get dressed and come back to the party that was going on downstairs, but it was if he didn’t hear a word I was saying. He screamed something about how ‘that old fucker’ must have stolen his ‘munchies’, and then started puking everywhere and breaking shit. My guess is he found out that we ran out of Funions, and just sort of lost it.”

Mr. Frank Corti was kind enough to take a break from his busy schedule of gardening and kicking ass to also give us his perspective of the incident:

“I actually smelled him before I saw him. It was like he shat his himself weeks ago and didn’t have the decency to change. He screamed something about Funions, and then lunged at me with a knife. I sidestepped it and socked him two times in the face, hard, and I smiled while I did it. Then I ripped out his stupid hippie lip ring with my teeth and made him eat it. That asshole toppled over like the empty trash can he smelled like.”

-Jason Moreira

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YouTube Creators Stepping Down, Google Takes More Control

YouTube co-Founder Steve Chen officially moves to another department of Google, Chad Hurley is likely to follow. More Hulu-esque content is expected to emerge as YouTube loses hundreds of millions of dollars a year [Gawker]
We would make a joke about Google here, but they'd probably buy us out 1200 times over, sue our family, and put us all in jail, so we'll refrain.
Watch the video of the two goons who created YouTube after they were first acquired by Google:



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The Legends, Band of Skulls at Webster Hall. 6/26.

To be fair, it wasn’t the best day to go to a concert. Merely a day had passed since the King Of Pop’s untimely death (did you hear about that?) and NYC’s streets were abuzz with sounds of his music. At that point, it felt almost sacrilegious to go to a concert dedicated to someone else’s tunes. The weather was bipolar, pouring torrential rain and revealing gorgeous sunlight at the inappropriate time of 8:30 PM. Was it Armageddon? Or was the weather simply mourning as well? Nonetheless, I arrived at the underground studio at Webster Hall excited and ready to dance.

In high school, The Legends had been my jam. Their debut album, Up Against The Legends, beautifully combined the fuzz of Jesus & The Mary Chain with intricate 60’s pop harmonies. Since then, three albums had been released that had been all varied in sound. Johan Angerhard is the sole mastermind behind The Legends and has no problem dipping into different genres. I was anxious to see how it would translate on stage. The venue itself was half-packed and resembled an awkward high school dance at first. People shied away from the dance floor and brooded in their respective corners. When The Legends took the stage, people slowly migrated to the floor to bobble their heads in unison. It was an abbreviated set and the band stuck to mostly playing material from their new album. To put it bluntly, they kind of sucked. In concert, the songs seemed duller and slower. I should’ve known that a band that was drenched in some distortion and hazy vocals would be lost in translation live. They’re more at home in the recording studio where the can play around with different effects and sounds.

When Band of Skulls took the stage, I was already over it and eyeing the exit. I had never heard of the band before and was put off by their embarrassing name. I’m glad I stuck around, however, because Band of Skulls kicked major ass. Although they hail from England, they played southern-fried rock and roll that was evocative of bands like Kings of Leon and The Kills. The male and female singers had an appealing aesthetic as well, looking like Kurt Cobain and Chrissie Hynde respectively. They grooved on stage, oozing sex appeal and sin! Is their music going to change the world? No. But it’s going to get you on the dance floor. And with America’s King of Pop gone and the unpredictable inconvenient weather, all a person can really ask for is some fun escapist dirty rock and roll.

Sidenote: My photographer's camera went kablooey after the concert and lost all the photos. It's a damn shame because Johan is one dreamy Swede. See?


-Ryan O'Connell



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Mulan: Fighting Feminist or Transvestite Troop? A Special AWDC Report.

After last week’s shocking revelation about Aladdin, Jasmine, and the Genie in what is now modern-day Iran, I figured I would devote every waking moment to uncovering another hidden gem of natural history.

My journey took me this time to China, land of the crouching tiger and hidden dragon. I was welcomed by friendly faces, about one billion to be exact. Among them was Popsense’s very own style correspondent Ting Ting “Pearl” Ho, a dear friend of mine. We went to the local McDonalds and ate some Shogun Burgers, and had chili sauce with our spicy french fries.

I asked Pearl if she could help me out with the latest mystery, the legend of cross-dressing Mulan of Ancient Chinese history. We all know that she fought as a man in the Chinese Imperial Army (CIA) against the atrocious Huns, in place of her ailing father. Eventually the gig was up, when Mulan was discovered as a woman, a shameful revelation that was, in 15th century China, punishable by death. But why would a badass female fighter be put down for good?

“What many do not know about Mulan is she was actually one of the first feminists in the history of humankind. Legend makes her out to be a cross-dresser, but this is to undermine her great successes, to humiliate her in a way.” Pearl continued to enlighten me as we sipped our soju-spiked McCafe’s.

“Mulan’s actions ended up sacrificing the possibility of any Westernization in China, because so many people chose to believe that she was a transvestite, a title that would bring a family and its ancestors irreparable shame. That loud-mouth Mushu didn’t help her cause either.” This sparked my interest, but it might have just been the soju.

“Mushu was a talker and a drunk. He had too much to drink one night and decided it would be a good idea to shout, ‘Empress Mulan will rule all yo’ asses one day.’ Mulan had made so much progress in her Feminist movement, but while making sweet love to Cpt. Li Shang, she was detained by a rogue group that worked under the Emperor. They took Mulan, dressed her up in rags and put her to work on the ill-fated Great Window of China.”

After Pearl finished up her account, I asked her what became of Mushu, Mulan’s flaming dragon pal. Apparently, Mushu was full of self-pity and was reassigned to work for the happy Kim family of North Korea. “Mushu lay low for a bit, helping the family succeed as laborers, and eventually evolve into a well-endowed military family. But he once again got in trouble, when in 1940, he slept with his master’s wife, producing a son, Kim Jong-il. Mushu, unable to raise a family, deserted his son at an early age, and everyone knows what happened from then on.”

As Pearl and I said goodbye, I once again reveled in the astonishing understory of another cherished Disney classic that has amazing relevance to modern history.

-Uncle Jake Frazier

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New Arctic Monkeys Single Announced. "Crying Light" to debut on BBC's Zane Lowe

The Arctic Monkeys announce that 'Crying Light' will be the first single off their upcoming album, 'Humbug' [WAWS] Apparently they chose the song name because they couldn't get anything to rhyme with 'Crying Diet'. Video after the jump:



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Spoon - "Got Nuffin" vs. Florence and the Machine - "Blinding": To Blog or Not To Blog

What shouldn't be, but is getting blogged about:
Spoon - Got Nuffin.mp3: When The Knack released My Sharona in 1979, they probably couldn't have predicted that each reuse of their intro beat/bass riff would become progressively more and more boring. We sure as hell thought that when The Jonas Brothers 'borrowed' it to woo confused/horny 12 year old girls with their single SOS, that it had reached its ultimate low. Alas, Spoon has proven us wrong. Their bass line is a simplified version of their predictable predecessors, and with the entrance of the vocal line there is a glimmer of hope until you realize that it's just a weaker version of Paint it Black. The song goes no where, except of course onto the 16 (make this 17) blogs on our radar who have already talked about it in 2 days.

What should be, but isn't getting blogged about:
Florence and the Machine - Blinding.mp3: Not a 'new' artist by any stretch of the completely skewed terms of 'new' on the internet, but with only two blogs on our radar (Citizen Dick, Box of Boom) picking this tune up so far, here's a real winner from the upcoming 'Lungs' EP (July 6). With some AnCo-esque opening jungle cries that give way to a relentlessly driving beat, the song is a journey from female-liberating chorus to stage-whispered closing verse. The poking of electronic strings serve as the perfect counter, digging deep into the side of Florence Welch's tasty UK-vocals (see: Adele, pre-(totally)-coked-out Winehouse). She has so moved on from whatever bro had her tied down, and thankfully we all get to enjoy it. Who ever knew a breakup could be so awesome?


PopSense reader, what do you think? Are we not giving Spoon a fair chance? Are we too obsessed with sassy UK vocalists? Will we care or respect your opinion if you disagree with us?

-Jeff Luppino-Esposito

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China Finds Pork Morally Corrupt, TOMATO TO-MAW-TO!

In a creepy bid for censorship, Beijing, China has ordered that all personal computers sold on July 1st and beyond be installed with software that filters images that could be seen as harmful to their citizens’ moral health. So what does China deem as a threat to one’s morality? Pictures of Johnny Depp, Garfield, and pork. Yup, these images, along with pictures of sex, drugs and rock and roll, are being blocked to the general public of China. Why? I don’t know. China is obviously on some other-level shit than America. This made me wonder though. If America installed the same censoring software, what would this country deem as a threat to our already- disintegrating morale? Or rather, what kind of images threaten MY morality?


At the very least, pictures of the woman who underwent several plastic surgeries to look like her idol, Catwoman, offend my eyesight.




Seeing pictures of the television show, Everybody Loves Raymond, sends me into a sinful rage. I thought I had convictions and a sense of what’s right and wrong. However, after viewing ten minutes of the banal painfully unfunny television show, I lose all composure and cannot be trusted.




Photos of shirtless Joseph Gordon-Levitt make me rethink my commitment towards abstinence and my marriage to Jesus Christ.




Thirteen make me wish I didn’t spend my middle-school years hanging out with my mom, watching episodes of Dawson’s Creek and dyeing my hair Lil Kim blonde. I wish I were like the girls in the movie: snorting pills, piercing my tongue, going to third base etc. Just seeing photos from the film triggers a strong desire to go buckwild, get a belly-button ring and fail a Social Studies class.

-Ryan O'Connell


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[Video] The Dirty Projectors - "Stillness is the Move"



This video contains everything we love. Besides bizarro percussion, expansive mountains, and indie-chicks with pop star vocals, The Dirty Projectors video for "Stillness is the Move" includes one animal that is very dear to our hearts: the llama. Those mobile ears, that inquisitive face...the magic is all there. Word on the curb is that their album, Bitte Orca, will receive the album of the year nod. PopSense is admittedly comprised of unabashed Grizzly Bear supporters, but what do you think?

The Dirty Projectors - Stillness is the Move.mp3

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Google Trends: A Reflection On Monday, June 29 On The World Wide Interwebs

I was more than shocked as I perused the top five Google Trendzz last night to discover that Michael Jackson took only one of the top slots – and number four, at that. Plus, he was beat out by some pretty weak sh*t. The Google Trends ranking is an ever-changing list, but let’s review Monday’s big-ticket searches…

1) Dallas Car Chase.

Huh. That many people in Texas have the Internet? I Googled the phrase myself and came up with a sketch-ass Youtube video – you know, someone taking a video of the TV and trying to keep his arm still – and I also stumbled upon a Fox News headline from an unrelated story in 2007: “Dallas Car Chase Leads to Discovery of Dead, Neglected Cats.” Gross, sad and mildly humorous. No, I’m not sorry for feeling that way. Anyways, according to Rightcelebrity.com (a site we all know and trust…?), the pickup truck driver in this video didn’t sustain any serious injuries… and the guy trying to get away from the cops, well, that wasn’t a very bright idea.

2) ¡¡¡Dinero Por Su Carcacha!!!

Me gusta this one. No really, I want it put to a reggaeton beat immediately. In all seriousness, Dinero Por Su Carcacha is el mismo as the recently passed Cash for Clunkers legislation. It’s just the Spanish translation. Que aburrido. But hey, now we all can say “clunker” en español – no gracias to our seventh grade Spanish teachers.

3) Rackspace

Call me a perv, but is this like MySpace for boobs? I was momentarily excited, as I still have yet to create a social networking site for my breasteses, but Rackspace is actually a web hosting company… Not as cool. Not at all. CNET reported that the company was experiencing outages, which they knew thanks to Rackspace’s Twitter updates. Oh, the world we live in. Until Tom Anderson develops the real RackSpace, there’s always boob Twittering.

4) Michael Jackson autopsy leaked

This one obviously came up due to the King’s recent passing, but also because of The Sun’s sensational reporting of a supposedly leaked autopsy: “Harrowing leaked autopsy details show the singer was a virtual skeleton — barely eating and with only pills in his stomach at the time he died.” The L.A. coroner quickly told the Sun, “F*ck you, not true,” and reminded it to brush its gnarly British teeth. Looks like now is the time when M.J. coverage transitions from heart-felt obits and music video re-runs to fantastic accounts from no-name sources. Commence media circus.

5) Billy Mays cause of death

Staying true to the unfortunate celebrity death motif, Billy Mays rounds out Google’s top five trends for Monday. A few of the related searches listed on the trend page certainly raise red flags: Billy Mays death jokes (too soon, assholes), how Billy Mays died (you couldn’t just Google his name?) and Billy Mays dead fox news (Googlers searching for items on Fox News can’t string together a coherent sentence; surprise, surprise).

-Lauren Sieben
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Jay-Z Death of Autotune Video, Madoff gets 150 years, Mermaid Parade, Poke on Twitter: PopSense Morning News

Monday, June 29, 2009 0 comments

Ponzi mastermind Bernard Madoff sentenced to 150 years in prison [CNN]: The judge considered giving him 250 but then realized that would just be ridiculous.

Mermaid Parade at Coney Island [FW]: King Triton deems them all whores.

Poke.ly Brings Facebook Pokes to Twitter [Mashable]: Man, picking up chicks just gets easier and easier.

Michigan Pagans group on Facebook [Examiner]: Ew, paganism is so pre-Crusades.

Jay-Z releases video for 'Death of Autotune': Fiddy Cent responds by talking about how he was shot 9 times-- no one cares.

Jay-Z video after the jump:




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Jay-Z Brutally Murders Autotune in Dark Alley: New Poll/Poll Results



Monday Poll Results:
With Sacha Baron Cohen's highly anticipated 'Bruno' coming out on July 10, what effect do you expect the film to have on American culture?





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Hipsterrunoff Carles Says Goodbye to Blogging

UPDATE: Confirmation of death... and possible rebirth?

Could this be the end? Could the king of kewt indie terminology and hipster naivete be moving out into the real world? Here's the message he left his adoring fans this evening:

Hey tweeple… Not sure if this blog is for me any more. Had a good run, but maybe this is it. Plenty of other alt sites out there to choose from. Dropped some sweet memes, made some cool new internet friends, but maybe my future is in ‘real life’ instead of the internet.

You did your best, Carles. You were a good blog.

Best,
Carles

---

Of course, like many weighty topics in Carles' innocent world, it is phrased as a question; the post is entitled "Should Carles Retire?"

Of late, posts on the site, while still hilarious and insightful, have admittedly felt a bit repetitive. Could the all-knowing Carles have sensed this through the power of self-awareness?

His Alt Report simply has the ominous message - "Smell ya later" "Bye".

Fans everywhere are up in arms, those who have worn the 'I am Carles' t-shirt are slowly piecing together their identity in the event that the site goes down thus making it impossible for them to be Carles. Or wonderfully retro.

All reasonable analysis seems to be pointing towards the fact that Carles is either very sick and dying or prepping to launch the greatest meme of all time.

It seems only appropriate that if Carles dies, that Carles would have to do an inappropriate meme about his own death. We aren't sure if/how/whether or not this is possible yet.

We'll keep you posted.

R.I.P. Carles

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50 Cent Promotes New Fragrance; Does Not Smell Like Money

The smell of power is not one easily defined. Perhaps it smells like a beachside condo; perhaps it smells like a BMW with a leather interior. Or, perhaps it smells like… 50 Cent? Not exactly what we would have chosen, but it’s true. Fiddy has just started promoting his first fragrance, Power by 50 Cent, which will be sold exclusively at Macy’s later this year.

Although he has proved himself to be a rather popular artist multiple times, 50 Cent is no longer content to just sit on his mountain of gold—he wants to add to it. The rapper’s manager, Chris Lighty, has said about this new business venture, that “the typical musician or actor might not know much about developing a fragrance or a skin care line, but [50 Cent] definitely wants to capitalize on his brand potential.” Now, call us crazy, but is 50 only just now realizing that celebrities can make a quick buck by putting out fragrances? Sorry to have to break it to you, but the time to capitalize was about three Paris Hilton perfumes ago. The celebrity fragrance thing has, for the most part, lost its appeal.

So what say you, PopSense? Would you like to smell like Fiddy? Or are you holding out for something a little more exciting, such as a Carrot Top cologne?
-Melissa Schrettner

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Wimbledon: Not Your Grandma's Tennis. Okay, It Is--But It's Still Cool

Unfortunately, tennis generally gets a bad rap.

#1.) Steroids and cheating have largely been kept at bay (Boring! But seriously...can you image a more masculine Martina Navratilova?!)

#2.) It's a sport in which women still wear skirts and earrings (the former of which one might think would help, but that's another story)

#3.) Perhaps most damning, it's beloved by the British.

So sure, maybe it's a sport you can watch with your grandma during Sunday tea, but it's also pretty badass. Wimbledon especially has a storied history, having been played since 1877. (When those Brits aren't colonizin', they love them some tennis.) One of the four major tournaments of the season (called "majors"--just as in golf, but like, less unbearable to watch), Wimbledon has long been synonymous with high stakes tennis, with last year's men's final between World #1 Roger Federer and World #2 Rafael Nadal being considered by many as one of the greatest tennis matches of all time (that one time you drunkenly broke into your local country club and volleyed for awhile with your even drunker friend doesn't count.)

So while it may not be the most-followed sport in America (tennis feels your pain, archery), it still deserves some respect, if only for all of its drama. So if you're ever at a snooty dinner party, here's a quick rundown of the main tennis story lines you can comment on:

#1.) While the epic and timeless rivalry between Federer and Nadal continues, it reached an anti-climax this month as Nadal pulled out of Wimbledon with a knee injury.

What to say: Federer's total coverage of the court and versatile shots will make him hard to beat. (Saying this while sipping a mimosa would be ideal)

#2.) Andy Murray is on a quest to become the first British champion since 1936.

What to say: While Andy Murray plays strong tennis, his relative inexperience may prevent him from upending someone like Federer. (dramatic pause here for ultimate effect.) Also, his unfortunate British teeth situation may prevent him from getting post-retirement sponsors.


(Nix this if you're talking to a Brit, of course. However, it should be noted that tennis fans are generally as bitchy if not more bitchy than figure skating fans, so this will usually be okay to say).

#3.)
Can Andy Roddick overcome the odds in the nearing twilight of his career to win his second major? (And maybe make Mandy Moore jealous?)

Thing to say: Though Roddick's slimmed-down figure may help, he still relies too heavily on his monstrous serve to score his points (Be sure to point out that he's not a great all-around player. Tennis fans love when you mention things like that. Then whoever you'll talk to will probably ramble on about "one of the greats" like Bjorn Borg and all you'll have to do is nod a lot.)

#4.) Who the hell can stop an all-Williams women's final?
Thing to say: While young talent may be coming out of countries like Russia, the Williams sisters are in top form, and Venus looks to be on track to win her 3rd straight Wimbledon title. (Be sure to mention that stat. Tennis fans love stats even more than baseball fans. But possibly slightly less than they like the aforementioned bitchiness).

Also, here're a few names to throw around. They're a lot like stock characters on the Real World, so here's a quick crash course:

Andy Roddick
The bro that no viewer especially likes, but everyone kind of has to because everyone else is even more unlikable

Nadal/Federer
The two straight guys that nonetheless have a lot of unspoken sexual tension

Jelena JankovicThe foreign diva who always leaves early, crying and flustered and blaming everyone else for her problems

James Blake
The unassumingly attractive one who has a lot of potential but never lives up to it

The Williams sisters
The two obligatory minorities that none of the other players like because they're awesome and tell it like it is

--Gaar Adams

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Twitter Privacy Issues: Eliminating Time Consuming Heart-to-Hearts

Gone are the days of Twitter used as purely a casual social networking device. It started as service for self-indulgent suits so busy that, instead of individually addressing inquiries about their day and/or life, blanket information in the form of 140 characters or less became necessary. As Twitter’s popularity grew, less important people jumped on the bandwagon, flooding the home page with the chronicling of every second of their life. It seems, however, that Twitter has, yet again, taken another shift in purpose – breaking real time news in record timing.

From swine flu to Iraq elections, Twitter trending topics is responsible for cluing in many who, without the aid of a cell phone or computer, might have remained blissfully ignorant to the situation. This is not to say that the Twitter is not used for the less serious cultural happenings, such as Perez Hilton’s assault or the current happenings at the BET music awards, but more and more, reputable news sources are growing to depend on Twitter for spreading news like internet wildfire. This is cause for concern, however, when the common man (or even B-list celebrities) makes the horrible assumption that his private trials and tribulations are worthy of a breaking news type release. Extremely pressing personal issues are being posted first through a site that was built as a personal networking tool. That’s like posting your business as your Facebook status! Oh, wait…well, okay. That’s like using a public blog as a private diary! Oh, shit…uh…that’s like posting a bulletin on Myspace! But, who are we kidding? No one uses Myspace anymore.

So, what does this result in? Awkwardness dominating the Twitter feed. Our culture has become so desensitized to privacy, deeming ourselves just as important as the public figures and celebrities that we follow, when in fact we are not. We believe that we have the duty to let acquaintances and sex automations in on the darkest corners of our lives, leaving little to the imagination. If we let ourselves get too carried away, the conversation staple, “What have you been up to?” will be null and void, as every answer could be countered with, “Saw that on Twitter.”

Despite the breaking of grave issues that, before, would never have been deemed suitable to summarize in a micro-blogging style, there remains a solid list of Twitter taboos. No matter how far we submerge ourselves into a world of Tweets, DMs and nudges, here are a few things that deserve a text…er, a phone call…or perhaps are best left unsaid.

@Grrl4rmLastNite HIV positive!

Going to the gyno!

@wifey Lost mah job.

Taking a dump.

@LuvofmahLYF Will u marry me?

In life threatening situation, help!

Things totally and ALWAYS appropriate for Twitter:

@PopSense UR TOTES AWSUM

-Abby Johnston

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Popsense's Final Farewell to the Pop Culture Greats

This has been a week of nothing but bad news. The deaths of Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and now Billy Mays has left a void across multiple generations of popular culture—one that cannot and will not be filled for some time to come.

But why do we care? Why does it strike us so personally? Isn’t it wrong, isn’t it disingenuous, isn’t it…petty—to mourn the loss of the famous when we barely pay attention to the faces of the faceless murder victims in the news? Are the masses less human? Are they any more estranged from us? Why don’t we embrace the sorrow of all humanity’s passings, rather than just those who populate our TVs and silver screens?

Because we could not possibly bear to do so. We are subtle beings, and we relish the experience of life above all else. To bear the weight of so much death would either kill us or make us wish that we were dead. To mourn for a thousand brothers would cause the others to mourn for one-thousand and one.

No; we know these people, these “celebrities." We love them and we hate them. We glorify and patronize them. We follow them as Kings, we gawk at them as Jesters, and speak through them as though they were our personal politicians. They become a part of our cultural consciousness in the same way words become a part our language—though words, alas, cannot die; but neither can they sacrifice themselves for us, willingly or not.

There will be those who say that these deaths are irrelevant to the world. They will say that we should be talking about Iran or North Korea or Barack Obama, and not waste our breath on an obnoxious TV salesman with a beard. Maybe they are right. But to say that these deaths—these losses—are irrelevant to our lives, is to be not only insincere, but malicious. Life is shaped by more than facts, figures, and fear; it is shaped by the people and personalities with which we identify, and, whether we want to admit it or not, come to rely on for comfort and stability in uncertain times.

It has been a very hard week for Popsense. As an editorial staff dedicated to humor and insight into popular culture, it is nothing short of agonizing to see our closet heroes and creative muses pass away. Death is a very sobering thing, and a sad one. But it is also something that rallies us to our cause, and demands of us that we press forward unyieldingly for it. It is time to move on.

So, for the last time:
Ed, Farah, Michael; you will be sorely missed.
Billy; I’ve used Mighty Mend-It more times than I care to admit. You’re the man.

-Jason Moreira





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Katie Holmes Rumored To Be Part of Dancing Reality Show. No, Not DWTS. Yes, We Don't Care Either.

I love random pairings that don't make much sense. Too much tequila and Easter brunch. SJP and Matthew Broderick. Brandy and the entertainment industry. So when it was leaked over the weekend that Katie Holmes is rumored to be pairing with So You Think You Can Dance for some kind of special show this summer, I just sat back and enjoyed the collective, "What the fuck?" heard round the world. But, really, if you think about it for a second, it makes a ton of sense.

Okay, no it doesn't--but maybe that's the genius of it. If So You Think You Can Dance is trying to have some special broadcast (rumored to be shown on its 100th episode this July), who the hell cares, right? So to get a leg up on the competition (get it?!) of other dancing reality shows, they had to throw Mrs. Top Gun out there just to get people to tune in. It's cutthroat these days for a dancing reality show. Between Cloris Leachman making you want to tear out your retinas on DWTS and a bunch of no-name people set to pre-empt your estrogen-y programming on Oxygen's "Dance Your Ass Off," there are a lot of shows to choose from.

I'd give you information about all of them, but if you're any kind of self-respecting individual, you wouldn't read it. So I'll give you a list of names instead:

Dancing With the Stars
So You Think You Can Dance
America's Best Dance Crew
Dance War
Your Mama Don't Dance
Step It Up and Dance
Dance Your Ass Off

Which one sounds the best to you? In choosing your favorite--much like these shows do--you can't actually decide based on talent, instead choosing based on a system of attractiveness of outward appearance. So which has the sexiest title? There definitely appears to be a correlation between show success, having "dance" in the name, and a generally absurdly long title that no one actually wants to say.

Fuck it. I'll just create a new show called "Dance Dance Dance Dance" and it will be the best one of all. Tom Cruise is set to direct. That doesn't make sense? It doesn't have to. It's a dancing reality show.

--Gaar Adams

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The Dream is Over! An Inside Word on the Outside World of Sports

- While doing so, he learns far too much about himself, confesses to a devious plan and feels a bit dirty afterwards.
I was an odd child in the 1990s to say the least. While everyone I knew in St. Louis was gawking over Mark McGwire’s muscular physique and ability to hit a small white, leather laced ball with a thin wooden bat very, very far, I was drawn not to the sights and sounds of the ballpark but, rather, the cool and rather nonexistent aroma of the ice rink.

When I was seven years old, my best friend was named Vlad. These are the types of names you grow up with when you’re a Russian immigrant with Russian family friends. (You all missed out!) Vlad was a year and a half older than me and, as such, I firmly believed that anything that Vlad liked had divine qualities and was worth worshipping since my older, more mature and cooler friend thought it worth his time to be interested in it. I followed Vlad from tricycles to Batman to Savage Garden to trance music. However, Vlad was transient and moved from passion to passion as rapidly as Janice Dickinson lunging for a new bottle of pills. So when it came time to ditch Batman and rock out to the Australian pop duo, Savage Garden, Vlad had no problems forgetting Gotham. I, on the other hand, could never forget these passions. I am still more than a little afraid of “Penguin” from Batman and attribute my irrational fear of birds to Danny DeVito. I, too, have ditched the tricycle only to pick up and embrace biking everywhere. (Yes, I am “that guy” on your college campus). And I confess to still listening to my two Savage Garden CDs and carefully following the subsequent solo career of one Darren Hayes (he’s so good!)




Now just tell me that isn’t baby making music.
So, for a brief month of his young life, Vlad decided to like hockey. I remember the first time I ever heard of the Blues was when Vlad told me to cheer for the Capitals in the 1998 Stanley Cup Finals because they were playing the Red Wings and the Red Wings had beaten the Blues in an earlier round. Little did I know that this conversation would spark a color war in my head that continues to be waged today: my hatred of everything winged and red and my love of all musical notes and everything Blue. Soon after I was hooked. I watched games with Vlad and then with my father and immediately realized that I seemed to care about the result much more than anyone else did. When a game would go into overtime, I would run out of the room and sing to myself so I couldn’t hear what was going on – I was so afraid that my hometown Blues would be beaten and I couldn’t bear to see a loss. Later in life, I have accepted “the loss” as a frequent occurrence… but that’s another story. I asked for hockey gear and began playing street hockey in my driveway with my neighbors every day. Oh I was hooked, alright. Hockey unlocked something inside of me that was probably there this whole time but I’d just never known about it. It was the Samantha Ronson to my Lindsay Lohan – making me feel emotions that I never knew existed.

Naturally, then, I began my quest to become a professional hockey player for the St. Louis Blues. My imaginary friends disappeared, only to be replaced by Blues players and fans who would cheer for me as I scored the Stanley Cup Winning goal in my driveway. It was at this point, however, that I made my fatal flaw. There are two typical branches of hockey – roller and ice. Roller hockey is for noobs. It is extremely fun and there are like 15 goals scored in each game (so I thought that my point-per-game pace made me the shit but really I was just average) but it is not real hockey and it’s just like an extended, more organized version of street hockey. However, seeing as I could roller skate pretty well but had never stepped on ice in my life, my little practical and lazy self decided to sign up for roller hockey. I was actually a bit above average – defensively sound, a good passer, a decent skater and VERY good on faceoffs. However, when I finally did start playing ice hockey in ninth grade on my high school team, I fell flatter than Ringo Starr’s solo career. At my first few practices, the ice rink was divided into two halves. On the right side, we had the team practicing and running drills. On the left side, goalies took shots and lessons from the goalie coach and Simon was being taught how to skate and stop without hurting himself or others. I quit after two months and hung my head in shame. My equipment still sits, putridly, in our garage.

And yet, somehow I still held out the slimmest amount of hope of becoming a professional hockey player… until June 26, 2009. This past Friday, the New York Islanders selected John Tavares with the first overall pick in the 2009 NHL Entry Draft. America yawned. New York sighed. Long Island burped and giggled a little and I wept. Tavares was born on September 20, 1990. You know the dream is over when the players being drafted are younger than you. And so I went to my closet and reverted to my backup plan. Two years ago, being the pragmatist that I am, I prepared myself for this moment by purchasing this nifty Blues jersey.

I then went to a local sporting goods store and personalized it like so.
My backup plan: If all else fails, accumulate evidence to be able to lie to your grandkids one day.

I’ll answer the question I received from last week in my Friday column and invite you all to send me more questions! Come on everybody let’s keep that dialogue going!

Cheers!

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Nathan's 94th Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest: Happy Upcoming Birthday, America, let's All Have a Stroke!

As the 233rd anniversary of the founding of this great country draws closer, we here at PopSense would like to take a moment to appreciate just how far we've has come. You know, people say that because of our limited history, America just can't have as much culture as a place like Europe. But we say: let's look at the record.

Who's developed a great auto industry with successful companies like GM, Ford, and...er, okay--wait, that wasn't a good one. We're gonna start over. How about pizza, we invented that, right? Ahg, fine. Damn Italians. How about a sport where people cram food down their pieholes until they have to retire from arthritic jaws and ruptured stomachs? That's all ours? I thought so.

This weekend, over thirty thousand people will gather at Coney for the 94th annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Let's take a closer look.



Okay, and don't worry--we get it. You feel a little guilty because of your ulterior motives for watching, right? It's all right, and to allay your fears, we'd like to draw a comparison to auto racing. People only watch that because:

1.) the off chance Danica Patrick's clothes will spontaneous fall off
2.) the .001 percent possibility of a rouge tire flying off a car and hitting somebody in the face

So if you're only watching competitive eating for the following things, that's totally acceptable:

1.) watch somebody choke

2.) giggle at all of the double entendre-laden commentary during the contest

Only in a place like this can you hear such golden sound bytes as "it's a five dog eat off" and "it's one of the most most exciting finishes in all of sport"...and then after the commentator realizes what fucking bullshit that is, quickly adds "and definitely in all of Coney Island hot dog-eating history." You can even turn the telecast into a drinking game! Every time he says "dog," take a shot. That, or shoot yourself in the face for watching a damn hot dog eating contest.

So we may not have had Rembrandt. Or James Joyce. But this 4th of July, round up the family in front of your foreign-made television to watch a contest involving food of Austrian origin which will probably be won by a Japanese guy. Good bless America.


--Gaar Adams

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Tiffany "New York / H.B.I.C." Pollard Wraps Up Latest Vh1 Endeavor, Needs To Retire

Dear Tiffany Pollard,

Salutations, old friend! It sure has been a long and bumpy road, hasn’t it? I’ve been tuning in to watch you fumble through one reality show after another since your “Flavor of Love” debut in 2006. I’ve also been with you through some tough times – like when Pumpkin spit on you during a “Flavor of Love” elimination ceremony, or the multiple times you sorted through goobery guys on “I Love New York” only to come up empty handed. And now, tonight, Vh1 will broadcast the “New York Goes to Work” season finale. I know, I know… I’m excited too. And yes, you are still the one and only H.B.I.C… but we need to talk.

Tiff, you’re 27 now. In Vh1 years, that comes out to about 60. Now, tack on the fact that you’re a three(plus)-year Vh1 “celebreality” veteran… Jesus, woman! You’re practically 1,000 in Vh1 years. Please, please, please, heed my advice: As soon as the “New York Goes to Work” circus shuts down this evening, retire. Immediately.

It’s not just your age – look at Bret Michaels. That dirty SOB is still kickin’ it on Vh1 because the sketchy women who come together on his show at least make for some quality entertainment. But watching a show about you, by yourself, pretending to be employable and channeling Paris and Nicole’s “The Simple Life,” is not interesting. The novelty, if there ever was any, has faded. We just can’t watch you on TV anymore.

Maybe start writing in a diary, or learn to cross stitch, or get a real job that isn’t televised. Just no more TV. Cherish the memories, always, but peace the f*ck out after this one and make room for some new Vh1 skeaze-balls. I love you, New York, but I’m so effing over you.

Best,
Lauren

Who Will Be Vh1’s Next Reality Spin-Off Star?

After Tiffany Pollard (hopefully) announces her reality retirement, here are our top two picks for most promising new skanks and bros to appear on their very own spin-off shows…


Ashley and the Blondourage
These "Rock of Love Bus" alum are tan, tenacious and have huge tits. In the upside down world of Vh1, isn’t that all a girl needs to merit her own reality show? With Ashley/Trashley as its leader, the Blondourage is pure trashy-television gold. Give these broads a program of their own, and you have my viewer loyalty, no questions asked.


Chi Chi and Sinister
These two are still vying for Daisy de la Hoya’s affection on “Daisy of Love” (a spin-off show, imagine that), but after they both get canned – Daisy dismissed poor Chi Chi last night – they're in a prime position to star in their own new show. Vh1 is all about brothers/roommates being together on TV (see: “Real Chance of Love”). Roommate rejects sharing a dating show is certainly not below this network. Just you wait and see.

-Lauren Sieben

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The Kings Are Dead. Long Live the Kings.

Thirty-two years ago, on the 16th of August 1977, a generation, culturally revolutionized by one man’s musical innovation, suddenly found itself without voice. The King – a Southern rockabilly singer who was one of the first musicians to integrate “black” and “white” sounds into commercial success – was found dead on the bathroom floor of his Tennessee estate. Elvis Presley had given rise to the birth of rock ’n’ roll in the States and become an international icon via his recordings, films, dance moves, and clothing, but for the latter years of his life, he fought to maintain a positive public image as he struggled with marital issues, health problems, and drug misuse.

There’s no way of skirting the issue: in the 1950s and 1960s, Elvis Presley was the biggest cultural force the world had ever seen. No less a musical pioneer than John Lennon remarked on Elvis’ contribution to music: “Nothing really affected me until I heard Elvis. If there hadn't been an Elvis, there wouldn't have been a Beatles.”

Before Elvis, there was Frank Sinatra; after Elvis, there was Chuck Berry and Al Green (white DJs wouldn’t play “black” music until white teenagers, having listened to the King’s rhythm and blues, began calling for more), the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Deep Purple, Rod Stewart, the Jackson 5, and Bob Dylan, just to name a handful. Elvis’ rise to national prominence coincided perfectly with the coming-of-age of the demographic group we now know as the Baby Boomers. To the Boomers, Elvis was a symbol of independence and of revolution: from his new beat-infused music to his gyrating hips (dance moves most parents considered obscene) to his haircut and clothing. He almost singlehandedly brought about the rise of the transistor radio, as an ever-increasing number of teenagers began buying them to tune into the new, all-music radio stations to listen to Elvis and other rock ‘n’ roll artists. He was one of the biggest sex symbols of the 1960s. He may have even helped in some small way to bring about the Civil Rights Movement, by his blurring of the lines of cultural segregation.

But, as so many other celebrities have done, Elvis seemed to follow his meteoric rise in popularity with the now-expected decline in the public eye. Even today to many Americans, there seem to be two Elvises, the “thin Elvis” of Jailhouse Rock and All Shook Up, and the “fat Elvis” of the glittery jumpsuits and Las Vegas impersonators; the fresh, new, sexy face of American music, and the atrophied, washed-up, scandal-plagued has-been.

Yet in spite of this (or, perhaps more accurately, because of it), Elvis’ death was more than just an asterisk in American cultural history. For it was within a week that Elvis was transformed: from an overweight, sweating washed-up loser into one of American history’s greatest movers-and-shakers – a man whose significance reached beyond both the Billboard Top 40 and his infamous hips to include wisdom and sapience on par with some of the greatest minds of the 20th century.

But how? How was America able to look beyond what Elvis had become to what Elvis had been? Had he ever really been what we now imagine him to be?

Or, did Elvis’ death simply carry with it the significance of an entire generation – the Baby Boomers – mourning their lost youth? Perhaps this decades-long retroactive Elvis infatuation is the manifestation of an entire generation crying “He’s dead! The King is dead, and we’re old!”

However, the mourning cries of “The King is dead” were soon replaced by the jubilation of a younger group exclaiming “Long Live the King!” As much as Elvis carried with him the weight of the cultural revolution of the Baby Boomers, his musical heir apparent, the King of Pop, carried the weight of Generation X. He and his brothers were the first black singers to appeal equally to white audiences, and while the Jackson 5 recorded their first hit single thirteen years after Elvis’ breakout single Heartbreak Hotel, Michael Jackson arguably didn’t hit it big until 1982, nearly 23 years after the King. By then, the Baby Boomers had birthed children and teens of their own, who in turn were looking for a cultural icon to represent them as the 1980s marched forward, both musically and politically – something Michael was able to do with his exceedingly generous humanitarian support.

Like Elvis, Michael was known for his vocal virtuosity, his eccentric fashion and dance moves, and his innovative musical style – one which also blended “black” and “white” music. And like Elvis and transistor radios, Michael Jackson nearly single-handedly birthed a technological-musical medium: the music video. Michael transformed the brief musical montage into an art form with such memorable songs as Thriller and Bad (which was directed by Martin Scorsese), which in turn gave rise to television channels like MTV and VH1. Michael has been hailed the world over for his theatrical live performances, and his work has laid the foundation for hip-hop, pop, and R&B artists like Justin Timberlake, Usher, Britney Spears, and Kanye West.

Also notably, the public perception of Michael is much divided between the Thriller Michael Jackson and the You Are Not Alone Michael; the smooth-crooning and still black Michael, and the plastic surgery and court appearance Michael.

So if you’re left perplexed by this sudden outpouring of emotion for a man who was vilified for the past decade by nearly every cable news station and stand-up comedian for his questionable antics, remember his musical inheritance. Remember that 30 years ago, another generation was mourning the loss of its youth, much the same way that Generation X is mourning. It’s not simply one man who has died, but an entire generation’s childhood, adolescence, ideology, culture, and way of life, soon to be replaced by their children and their children’s King.

So to Baby Boomers and Generation X, it’s ok. We understand, and we’ll mourn the loss of Michael Jackson with you as you cry, “The Kings are dead! The Kings are dead, and we’re old!”

And to Generation Y, we need to find a King.

-Caleb Erikson

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Kick-Ass Trailer.



The title of this film says it all.

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"I Am Number Four" by "A Million Little Pieces Author Film Adaptation, Transformers rakes in $200 Mil: PopSense Morning News

Transformers takes in $112 million this weekend to top off a $201 million 5-day opening [THR]: Shia LaBeouf celebrates with a bottle of vodka, a drive around the town, and a failed attempt at sleeping with Megan Fox in real life.

Michael Bay to Direct Adaptation of "I Am Number Four" by A Million Little Pieces" Author [/Film]: Wait so that book he wrote still isn't a true story?

Michael Jackson's Chimp to Star in a Film [Sun]: Bubbles unknowingly forced to join the sick leeches who are exploiting Michael Jackson's death.

Hollister Invades SoHo [Animal]: The Hipster natives are thrilled.

Variety gives an early, mixed review of 'Bruno' [Variety]: Other films that Variety had mixed feelings about: Milk, Rent, Brokeback Mountain, and Transformers.

Read Previous Morning Links

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Grizzly Bear Performs "Cheerleader" on Jimmy Fallon


Grizzly Bear attacks fans with a new performance on late night television. As the #1 album on college radio stations (and having premiered in the Billboard top 8), Grizzly Bear is invading the mainstream. When transcendental, orchestral indie-pop becomes the norm, the world will be a better place. Jimmy Fallon probably won't be a host. [via TID]

View their past late night performances after the jump.





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Bruno Changes Face of Gay Community: New Poll/Poll Results


Weekend Poll Results:
How do you feel about 'Transformers 2' and its early success?




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